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Joke of the Day

"Company suspends sponsorship deal with Sharapova after she failed drug test To protect Volkswagen's excellent brand image. They can't affiliate with people who might have cheated."

Next Joke
 
"My boyfriend wakes me up when he wants to have sex... Do I wake him up when I want to buy shoes???... No!!!"
"If you made a viral video of a cow... It'd be called a bo-Vine."
"Hell has free wifi but no outlets for phone chargers."
"My ex-wife accused me of being a crossdresser... So I packed her things and left"
"All I want from Uber is to be driven around until I fall asleep, carried over the driver's shoulder into my home, and tucked into bed"
"If Trump wins the election, I'm leaving the country. If Clinton wins the election, I'm leaving the country. This isn't a political post; I just want to travel."
"NURSE: She's in a coma. She's been on hungerstrike [boyfriend walks in with just enough chips for himself] PATIENT: *Opens one eye*"
"How come Justin Bieber doesn't like to shop at Sports Authority? Because he likes Dick's."
"What happened to the cow who jumped over the barb wire fence? Udder destruction"