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Joke of the Day
"My door bell rang this morning. I didn't even know it had a phone."
Next Joke
"Note to self Don't buy one."
"me: good morning, Linda Linda, my co-worker who backpacked through Europe: Not as nice as the sunrises you can see looking out from Venice"
"""I'll take movies for $500 Alex"" Tim Burton directed this dark tale starring Johnny Depp & Helena Bonham Carter ""You gotta be kidding me"""
"Q: Where do you look for blonde's obituaries? A: Under ""Home Improvements."""
"What makes a good Stalin joke? The execution."
"""Oh hey there, didn't recognize you with your cap on,"" I say flirtatiously to my toothpaste."
"So you are distantly related to the family next door are you? Yes- their dog is our dog's brother."
"Did you hear about that geeky trigonometry expert? The only angle lacking in his life was secs."
"I just took a massive dump. Didn't know I had it in me."