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Joke of the Day

"What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheeet."

"People who don't have a name for their newborn, What the shit did you do for 9 months?"

"My son went over to a friend's house & his Mom asked when we wanted him home. From her expression I think she was expecting a time, not day."

"I'm never gonna tell the person I'm meeting up with that you said hi."

"In regards to those who lost a loved one to the Air Asia flight disaster... Don't worry there are plenty of fish in the sea. (Too soon?)"

"Where does Santa's stripper mom work? The North Pole"

"Phone Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond! Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!"

"My wife told me she thought the clone troopers were kinda hot I told her she might have a Fettish."

"Whats the best thing you get out of a penis? The wrinkles."

"What's the most interesting thing that students learn while studying Meiosis? Sex Cells."