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Joke of the Day

"Paris Hilton's chihuahua Tinkerbell died yesterday. Purses are being held at half-mast."

"The 4 Stages of Going Out Drinking: 1. Why do I do this to myself 2. This isn't so bad 3. WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN 4. Why do I do this to myself"

"If I had a nickel for every gender... I'd have ten cents and a dead meme"

"Short story about HYGIENE Hi, Eugene. Please be kind. First post here. ;)"

"Friends are like snowflakes, they gang up on you and tell you you're an alcoholic."

"Wearing 'EarPods' is my favorite way of making the rest of the world believe my verbal outbursts are part of a heated phone conversation."

"Why can black women twerk so well? They learned from their father how to bounce."

"*puts on shirt* *shirt rips because of my muscles* *gets yelled at for ruining 5yo's shirt*"

"A co-pilot walks into a library and asks for a number of books on suicide. The librarian says ""Are you going to take them all out with you""? ""Hmmm"" he replies ""That's a good idea"""

"My dog and I have two things in common: We like burying our bones in other peoples backyards and fleas :-("