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Joke of the Day

"Took the batteries out of the smoke detector to use in my remote cause I would rather die in a fire than have to get up & change the channel"

Next Joke
 
"I enjoy much more playing lots of videogames then having sex with Emma Watson.. In that particular order."
"[1773] ""Your majesty, last night some angry colonists dumped our tea into the Boston Harbor"" *three English ladies faint* WTF THIS MEANS WAR"
"*hears your text message notification beep* *constantly imitates it so you check your phone for no reason*"
"I wonder how many Viagra induced unrequited boners go home from the bar or club staring up at their owners in complete dismay?"
"I'm a ginja. What is that you might say? A ginger ninja"
"Subway is definitely the healthiest fast food available because they make you get out of the car."
"My kitchen drawer was stuck but my husband got it open. I guess all it needed was a big jerk."
"Chuck Norris once went sun-bathing... ...but unfortunately there were no towels available on the sun."
"You play the victim so well, I'm surprise you don't carry around your own piece of chalk."