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Joke of the Day
"From a funny Twitter post If rather die than commit suicide."
Next Joke
"[Dinner with GF's parents] Thank you for having me over, can I use the bathroom? ""MAY I use the bathroom"" *slams fists down* I ASKED FIRST"
"What did the two lesbian vampires say to each other? Same time next month?"
"When I looked at the eclipse yesterday all I could see were my parents fighting :("
"me: Hi it is nice to meet u. I am Jeff date: Are u reading off notecards M: Yes sex at ur place sounds gr-wait crap these are out of order"
"What does an approximately normal statistician eat for lunch? A large CLT"
"I can't hold my liquor. So I put it in my stomach."
"When a man falls off a boat, you say, ""Man overboard!"" What do you say when a woman falls off a boat? ""Full speed ahead!"""
"What's pink and has seven dents in it? Snow white's hymen"
"Idea for a podcast: Friends hang out together and have deep and meaningful discussions and nobody records it and it's not a podcast."