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Joke of the Day

"He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good... Does Santa work for the NSA?"

"How do Germans tie their shoes? In little Nazis"

"I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis"

"I often find myself rewording a long tweet so many times that it completely loses the original subject. This one started off about a cat."

"Bob suddenly realized his wife had fallen off her horse Which was quite a relief as just an hour ago he'd thought he'd gone deaf"

"Interrupting Cow's Cousin Moo. Knock knock. Who's there? Time traveling cow."

"Why is the letter T like an island? Because its in the middle of water!!!"

"Taco Bell manager: I'm sorry, you didn't get the job. It's your drug test Me: so you mean... Manager: yes, you passed. Get high & re-apply"

"I'm in a Josef Fritzl tribute band... You probably haven't heard of us, we're pretty underground."

"You wanna know what's lame? Disabled people."