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Joke of the Day

"My neighbor with the Confederate flag is harmless after all. He just drove off in the cutest little ghost costume."

"What do you get when you cross a gay man and a Jew? A hit Broadway show!"

"What boxer's nickname is EEEEE? Mohammad Ali All-E"

"[to the secretary before I go in for job interview] ""when the music starts, hit this button and that will activate the fog machine"""

"How did Henry V reload his rifle? Once more into the breech, dear friends"

"I named my dog Rembrandt That way I can say ""have you seen my Rembrandt?"""

"I like watching children run around at the park. They don't realize I'm using blanks."

"What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe? White vans."

"What did the poor ghetto dweller get for Christmas? Your bicycle."

"I should have gone to see the optometrist I can't anymore"