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Joke of the Day

"How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?"

"I was the photographer at a vegan wedding this weekend They kept getting mad when I told them to say cheese."

"I spent the entire day hanging out at the swimming pool Until someone told me and I eventually tucked it back in."

"A man walks into a doctors office A man walks into a doctors office and says Man: ""Doctor, Doctor! I have 5 penises!!"" Doctor: ""That's amazing! How do your pants fit?!"" Man: ""Like a glove."""

"This one time in 1993, Brett Favre sent an alpha-numeric representation of his penis to my beeper."

"The girl at the table next to me is having a salad. Not as a starter, but as a main course like some kind of rabbit."

"I'm boycotting 50 Shades of Grey because it perpetuates the stereotype that men can change."

"I just won an award for my hairdressing skills. Best Newcomber"

"Two men walk into a bar... The 3rd one ducked."

"A Pole was playing chess.. ."