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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the story about the broken pencil? It's pointless."

"Statistically... 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape."

"How many Police Officers does it take to change a light bulb? Thirteen. One to change the light bulb, and twelve to beat the room for being black."

"Asked a vegetarian if she'd heard this song, then remembered vegos are too weak to turn on radios and way too busy playing with their lutes."

"I saw an image of Jesus in my breakfast burrito. I asked myself, what would Jesus do? And so I ate him. Two hours later... Holy Shit!"

"My wife and I play this fun game at home where one of us says, ""Could you watch the kids for a minute?"" and runs."

"""i'll be back"" --arnold schwarzenegger getting into a 2-man horse costume"

"5 and I are playing ""guess the number I'm thinking of"" with no limits and no clues. He's guessing sequentially from 1. Talk next week, guys!"

"I don't always talk to West Point graduates... ...but when I do, I ask for a side of fries."

"Your favorite drink must be ginger ale..... cause you leave every girl in Canada Dry."