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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear that Tom Brady is running for president? His platform is lowering inflation."
Next Joke
"Self-control (n.): Charlize Theron keeping a straight face on when the mirror tells her Kristen Stewart is prettier than she is."
"Diner: Waiter please close the window. Waiter: Why is there a draft? Diner: Yes it's blown my steak off the plate three times."
"Why do ninjas make bad porn stars? Because nobody can see them coming."
"What's brown and sticky? The remains of an overused punchline"
"Math Problem Q: If the the radius of a pizza is *z* and its width is *a*, what is the pizza's volume? A: (pi)(z)(z)(a)"
"If you slept with my husband I'd be like ""OMG how much do I owe you?"""
"Baby you were beautiful Until your Photoshop 30 days trial expired"
"Is it racist that I only use chopsticks when eating Asian food? I'm never like, ""Time for pancakes! Where are my chopsticks?"""
"I would love to give Rachel Riley a cream 3.14159265359"