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Joke of the Day

"it's ridiculous to estimate the size of a man's weiner by looking at his hands or feet. just ask him to show you. if it's small, he won't."

"<- sleeps well with others"

"How did the blonde chip her teeth? using a vibrator"

"An anti-semantic walks into a synagogue. The linguists in the group are offended and leave."

"So sick of musicians telling lovers in songs that they'd give them stuff if they only had it to give. That's too easy, assholes."

"So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!"

"Why did the Chicken cross the road? because 7 8 9 hahahaha"

"Well, the mechanic called. Apparently, in addition to a muffler, my car also needs a new car."

"ANCHOR: Now over to Mike for the weather. ME: IT'S REALLY WEATHERY RIGHT NOW, CARL, WITH MORE WEATHER TO COME! THAT'S IT FOR THE WEATHER!"

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending."