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Joke of the Day
"What does a Chicago cop say after emptying his clip into a fleeing suspect? ""Stop. Police."""
Next Joke
"What did they change the name of the gay bar in Orlando to? No Pulse"
"A white couple gets a black child Angry husband asks-you white,me white.why is baby black? Wife-you hot,me hot.baby burnt!"
"After DST I stopped to visit my dyslexic friend... http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/12d1747cd7/the-agony-of-dyslexia"
"Disney just announced plans for an animated adaptation of Dante's Inferno They're calling it, ""101 Damnations."""
"How does a Jewish guy make beer? Hebrews it."
"Hey girl, are you an overdue library book? Cuz I'm gonna stuff you in the back of my car then forget about you"
"Whole Foods mixed up the labels on regular & vegan chicken salads. Vegans became suspicious when they experienced a fleeting moment of joy."
"I gave a Republican an IQ test... He rolled it up and tried to shoot me in the dick with it."
"[Supermarket] Me: QUICK, WHERE IS YOUR FROZEN SECTION Assistant: Aisle 7 Me: GREAT [opens trench coat and 6 penguins fall out] let's go guys"