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Joke of the Day

"[Supermarket] Me: QUICK, WHERE IS YOUR FROZEN SECTION Assistant: Aisle 7 Me: GREAT [opens trench coat and 6 penguins fall out] let's go guys"

"Democrats are the sexiest party... Because no one wants some elephant"

"What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bend over? Doughnuts."

"Come forth. And the Lord said unto John, come forth and receive eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster."

"What did the scarf say to the hat? You go on ahead. I'll hang around"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Nothing, because he could never come."

"A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer.... ..and a mop."

"I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.L Then it dawned on me."

"It's convenient for my password security needs that my mother's maiden name is Waffles4%"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."