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Joke of the Day

"Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, ""You're next."" They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."

Next Joke
 
"I saw two really fat people today talking... Looked like a heavy discussion"
"What does someone have when he can tell you how many guys are in a crowd? Acumen."
"I was thinking of dressing has Nan form American Horror story : Coven But the thought of it brought me 'down'"
"Shout out to the dude who's followed and unfollowed approximately 25632 times this week."
"Riley can be a little girl's name, it's not always a dog's name. If someone says Riley's been sick don't bring up euthanasia right away."
"I can ignore you so hard you will begin to doubt your own existence."
"What do you call a fight between a Mexican and Jared Fogle? Alien vs Predator."
"Dad: My head hurts, it feels like wrongdad. Son: What's wrongdad? Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left."
"What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner? Just be *honest* with it man..."