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Joke of the Day

"The other day I sold someone a stale fish, next day he came to my store and said ""you selfish"" and left... now I am not sure if I should have replied ""yes"" or ""sorry""."

Next Joke
 
"All the gingers I know have pretty good morals... I guess you can't really sell your soul to the devil when you don't have one to begin with."
"wife: ""you promised you wouldnt buy anything stupid with our lottery winnings"" me: [covering penguin's ears] ""he can hear you linda"""
"What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman? To one you say, ""Hey you, get off my cloud!"" The other: ""Hey McLoed, get off my ewe!"""
"Why did the blind lady fall into a well? Because she couldn't see that well. *crickets, crickets*"
"I've been so drunk that homeless people give me their footlong sub. When they give it to me they whisper, ""Get your shit together, rookie."""
"Today at work, at my desk, my boss offered me a handjob... It's okay though, I'm self employed."
"Why are fish so thin? Because they eat fish!"
"What is the most surprised a cow can be?? UDDERLY SURPRISED! (Edit: UTTERLY to UDDERLY)"
"What kind of beef are you most likely to catch masturbating? Stroganoff"