75760

Joke of the Day

"I'm sick and tired of those who say Hillary has no great accomplishments.... I would say staying out of prison for the crimes she committed in the last four decades is a great accomplishment."

Next Joke
 
"[NSFW] I'm trying this new thing where I don't beat off It's hard"
"For every cigarette you smoke God takes away 1 year of your life and gives it to Hugh Hefner."
"I lost two things today: My virginity and my job as a morgue assistant."
"What is Mister Miyagi's favorite drink? Jack Daniels-san"
"BREAKING: An egg. I'm making scrambled eggs."
"If I contract a disease any time soon I want it to be scurvy or the plague because I'm a history buff."
"""Um guys wait seriously you guys I feel like we should be going the other way they're shooting at us? Um guys?!"" --horses going into battle"
"What happened when the orange slept with the dirty lemon? He got lemonaids."
"[15 minutes into choosing which crab from the tank to have for dinner] Date: are you crying?"