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Joke of the Day

"Two drunks are crawling on the railroad. One says ""I'm tired of climbing this ladder, when's our floor already?"" ""No worries, I see an elevator coming."""

Next Joke
 
"Wife just got me a new tv for Christmas! Looks like my New Years resolution is 1080."
"I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts... ... for eating a Brownie."
"Sometimes I have my shit together, sometimes I eat an unidentified white substance out of my hair and am grateful when it's frosting."
"You'd think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won't."
"I told my psychiatrist I'm thinking about suicide He told me from now on I have to pay in advance."
"I'm sorry' and I apologize' generally mean the same thing Except at Funerals"
"If one more person asks me to do a summersault.... .......I swear I'm going to flip!!!"
"A frendly reminder! ""You will live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension."" Nikola Tesla"
"I just drop my keyboard on the floor by accident... I lost control."