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Joke of the Day

"Getting a college degree is just like buying a new car Its value is cut in half as soon as you leave the property with it."

"""Dude, this is so awesome, I can use my $300 smart phone as a flashlight"". - Why we'll be speaking Chinese in 50 years."

"A Racist, a viciously jealous wife and a socialist walk into a room... Welcome to the US General election debate!"

"I would tell a good chemistry joke right now But all of the good ones argon"

"I'm glad that when you shoot, you shoot to kill ... because shooting to merely wound seems kinda mean."

"Why doesn't Hitler go ski? Cause he's blown his fucking head."

"What do you call an Irish man who lives in your back garden? Patti O'Furniture"

"Why was the vampire thought of as simple-minded? Because he was a complete sucker."

"Im using free internet because my neighbor did not protect his wifi via password."

"Its ironic that the gay club was called ""pulse""... As 50 people didn't have one after the shooting"