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Joke of the Day

"Jesus walks into a hotel He throws a bag of nails on the counter and says: ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"If Miley Cyrus really wanted to shock us at the VMAs, she'd show up in a burka covered in a snowsuit and slowly add more clothing each hour."

"The police came to my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes My dogs don't even have bikes."

"I am sad I can no longer get Arnold Palmer's at restaurants anymore But it looks like I can get an Arnold Embalmer now."

"Sometimes when I'm sad, I'll go to the park and, from a distance, look thru my thumb and index finger and begin squishing people's heads..."

"What is Donald Trump telling Independents? Orange is the new black."

"My Reddit posts are just like my prostitutes. They always end up getting buried."

"I tried to help by doing my daughter's hair once and a kind old lady offered her a hot meal and a warm place to sleep."

"I suspect the number 200 sometimes impersonates the word ZOO."

"Dude can you make the stitches spell out ___? http://www.cbc.ca/manitoba/scene/images/Dude%20back%20cover%20%20620.jpg One Joke One Vision."