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Joke of the Day

"Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant, a lot has changed... like my name, phone number, address, etc."

"Pink Panther's to do list: to do, to do, to do, to do, to do, to do, to dooooo!"

"My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet."

"Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year? Pupil: 12 - 2nd January 2nd February...!"

"SIRGEN = A Slut that acts like a VIRGIN"

"WHAT IS SEX? HUSBAND: A minute of PLEASURE, then years of PRESSURE! WIFE: Moments of ECSTASY, followed by decades of SLAVERY! MISTRESS: Just stolen TIME, but never MINE! HOOKER: NEXT!"

"What did The Zodiac Killer say before killing his victims? ""You're Cruz'n for a bruising""."

"enlarger My wife suggested I get a penis enlarger. So I did, she's 25 and her name is Tiffany"

"Boss: I'm sorry but we have to let you go. Me: Really? That's not what these pics of you and your secretary said. They said I need a raise."

"My GF begged me to stop singing Linkin Park I tried so hard."