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Joke of the Day

"Me: You've dimmed the lights already, aren't we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen."

"Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician??? He worked it out with a pencil. ;)"

"I just realized the reason old people seem so angry is because we've ruined everything."

"One of my legs is longer than the other. I've spent years trying to get it rectified... But I just end up going around in circles."

"What does a carpenter do after one night stand? A matching one for the other side of the bed."

"The grass is always greener, but usually because it's synthetic AstroTurf."

"Want to hear a corny joke? It's so good, you'd say it was a-maize-ing"

"""Jared"" from Subway recently posted an image on Reddit of him sucking a minor's penis ... ... he later deleted the image and replied ""Oops, wrong sub."""

"My favorite toilet in my house is broken Guess I'll have to make doo with my other one"

"Who delivers pizza in the hood? Popo John's"