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Joke of the Day

"If you're not saying ""you're an idiot"" a few times during any interaction with me, you're not truly appreciating the depth of who I am."

"The sign said ""fine for parking here"" And since it was fine, I parked there."

"REAL math joke At a party vectors V and W see vector V+W poking in his head and asking: ""Can I join?"". ""Yeah."", V and W reply; ""It's a closed party..."""

"From Neil Gaiman's ""Sandman"" A woman is crying on the street: ""HELP! I've been reaped!"" ""You mean raped?"" asked a man. ""No! he used a scythe!"""

"Hot girl in the avatar, but no selfies in your pics. I'm just gonna call you ""bro"" from now on."

"Why do ducks have big flat feet? To stamp out forest fires."

"Why is it tough to make it as a pornstar? Because the competition is stiff."

"Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they're shellfish."

"Put your right leg in, Put your right leg in, Put your right leg in, Put your right leg in, Put your right leg out, Put -spider hokey pokey"

"The best thing about time machines ... ... is that you can buy it used and sell it new."