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Joke of the Day

"How will Donald Trump decide which ones to deport? By separating the good Juans from the bad Juans!"

"I've noticed you keep tiny pictures of family members in your wallet. Nice, I didn't know you played. I'm looking to trade my Nana card."

"I love puppies and kittens and little cute hamsters But not all together. I don't like my food touching."

"What kind of fish has no father and looks like shit? A Bassturd."

"Turtles think frogs are homeless."

"[Pun] There's something about the sky... There was a man in an airplane and he had just over dosed on alcohol, one could say he really was HIGH -<>~<>- ^those are what I call 'pun glasses'"

"I think my vibrator has Parkinson's."

"Traffic wardens are so nice in my area... they always leave notes on my car like 'Parking fine'. edit: this joke is fucking awful"

"A great excuse for being late is ""I don't know how to tell time"""

"Why do they use liquid soap in the Navy? It takes longer to pick up"