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Joke of the Day

"I get bummed out when I end up being on time but I'd worked up a really solid ""why I'm late"" story."

"I could tell you a joke about a plane... But it'll probably go over your head..."

"Why do they call P.M.S , P.M.S ? Because Mad Cow disease was already taken."

"A man gave his dog a bone... and was subsequently charged and tried with beastiality."

"I was addicted to porn... ...but then I beat it."

"What basic skill do herb farmers always struggle with? Thyme management"

"Knock Knock *Who's there *The Kgb *The kgb who? *(Slaps person) we will ask the questions."

"How did the unqualified harp player get into the orchestra? She pulled some strings."

"What do snotty vegetables do when they see something they don't like ? They 'turnip' their noses."

"Some people probably think I tweet too much but maybe I'm required to tweet this much or else this bus will explode ever think of that"