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Joke of the Day

"Well, well, well... There's three deep holes in the ground with water in the bottom of them."

"What is a dead giveaway someone has no idea what they are doing? They have an engineering degree."

"What does an accountant call a friend's birthday party? (x-post from /r/tax) A present liability!"

"Why do all the ladies love Jesus? (spreads out arms to fullest length) Because he was hung like this."

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream."

"[creation] GOD: You each have a gift WORM: What's mine? G: You...spin silk BEE: How bout me? G: Uh...make honey HIPPO: And me? G: Hm...eat marbles"

"How to tease a girlfriend if she really wants it My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her. I said, 'Alright, fatty.'"

"Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink"

"Women always complain about periods. Talk to me when ovaries become supersensitive, hang in a thin sac and you accidentally sit on them."

"So two cannibals are sitting in a forest, and one of them says to the other, ""Gee, I really hate my step-mom."" The other one replies ""Well why don't you try the potatoes?"""