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Joke of the Day
"""My wife is such a racist... she won't let me date black girls."" -Andy Breckman"
Next Joke
"What do you call a corrupt lawyer? Senator."
"I went to a zoo, but all they had was one sad-looking dog. It was a shih tzu."
"My kids will be friends with people of all colors of the rainbow. That means no black people. (Credit goes to a person on either America's Got Talent or Britain's Got Talent, can't remember which)"
"My funeral instructions to my family were to have me cremated, and I told my best friends under no circumstances should I be cremated."
"Finally got a phone at my desk. In related news, thanks to me, 56 random people are running to catch their refrigerators."
"What do they call traffic laws in 3rd world countries? Guidelines"
"what do you call somebody who hates shoes from Asia? A lacist."
"If I was a villain, my weapon would be a fan and a bag of eyelashes for blinding superheroes I'm a villain, don't ask how I get my weapons"
"Fifteen years ago I asked my high school crush out on a date, yesterday I asked her to marry me... ... She said no both times."