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Joke of the Day

"""My wife is such a racist... she won't let me date black girls."" -Andy Breckman"

"The TV's airing the same pressure cooker ad over and over again. It's Torr-turous."

"A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" The Screwdriver responds, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"When you date someone you either end up breaking up with them or marrying them... ...And either way you end up unhappy."

"A Florida boy was born with no eyelids... The doctors decided to make him some eyelids using his foreskin. He's a little cock-eyed now, but he'll be fine."

"NASA is planning to lasso an asteroid and bring it to the moon? I was unaware NASA had hired Wile E. Coyote to plan their missions."

"Did you hear about the house the lesbians built? All tongue and groove, no studs. I heard they did it lickety split too!"

"Police jokes are not funny So give it arrest"

"After #Brexit, the pound crashed... ...it's down to ten ounces."

"Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman."