75070

Joke of the Day

"Step 1 Change your Wi-Fi password to ""blowmefirst."" Step 2 Wait for someone to ask you for it."

"*sings Batman theme *crawls along bars of death *rolls down slope *ascends tower *knocks out foes ""Miss, you need to leave the playground."""

"The greatest plot twist of all time is in the Bible where, halfway through, God suddenly turns out to be nice."

"Coworker: What book you reading there? Me: 'How To Kidnap A Coworker' CW:... Me: Not you, Karen. A pretty one."

"My arms sometimes get tired during sex and I drop my phone on my face."

"Why you don't ask grandma sex questions I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"What did the German say to the abundance of old memes vielen dank"

"I just read an article on the dangers of alcohol and it scared the shit out of me So that's it. I'm done. No more reading after today"

"The Story of 3 chinese immegrants"

"So how do I take the gum out of my hair? Cancer."