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Joke of the Day

"No one in the Star Trek universe knows how to tie a neck tie. They're all use to Klingons."

"Loan me a couple bucks? ""Sure"" *throws 2 huge deer carcasses on counter* Dude where did u get those? ""..."" Can I even pay with these?"

"Sometimes I put a ""for sale"" sign in my neighbor's yard and pray the power of suggestion works."

"I just pissed like a horse. Not an easy stance, let me tell you."

"Book Of Tim, 3:13. Behold, the lord said unto them, leave not your nachos unattended for quickly they become the spoils of thieving women."

"A drug dealer sold me his shoes today I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day"

"Boy, are you a destination wedding? Cuz I can't come."

"Why can't you bring valve oil to the airport? Because its a band substance"

"What does a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars. Well, except for the duck."

"Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? They fall through his hands."