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Joke of the Day

"Don't force funny huh? Well, I have funny tied to a chair in my basement and...unless we become fast friends... ...he's losing a knee cap."

"First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door... My plumber sure has a strange sense of humor..."

"If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, then my illegal logging business is a success."

"Why do black people always die first in scary movies? Because they never run from nothin but the police"

"What do you get when you cross a lima bean with a Soviet? A Lenintil..."

"Due to the impending snowstorm on the east coast The center for Global Warming research will be closed due to blizzard until further notice."

"My girlfriend is the undisputed queen of not giving a fuck But it's all good. Her sister is plenty wild for the both of them"

"So they're bringing in 100 fine for bad driving... How sexist is that? (via Jimmy Carr)"

"My childhood left me with unreal expectations about how often I would see pies used as weapons."

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face"