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Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into a bar With a ships wheel on his belt. The bartender asks, ""What's the wheel for?"" The pirate replies, ""Arrr it's drivin me nuts!"""

"4-yr-old son gave smartest answer ever to ""How do you know if something is art?"" ""People tell you."""

"A guy walks into the psychiatrists office where I work wearing nothing but Saran Wrap undies... The psychiatrist said, ""I can clearly see you're nuts!"""

"What do you call a pompous piece of bread? A braguette."

"Girls don't fart or poo That's why they are full of shit."

"You're about as unique as a Bob Marley poster."

"My 5 stages of grief: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Are you gonna eat that?"

"Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone."

"Asking me to care Would be like asking the hunchback of Notre dame to stand up straight."

"When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones?"