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Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into a bar With a ships wheel on his belt. The bartender asks, ""What's the wheel for?"" The pirate replies, ""Arrr it's drivin me nuts!"""

"How is the layer of fat around a woman's vagina called? Woman."

"The worst part of seeing a spider in the shower was the way it covered it's eyes when it saw me."

"Some guy ordered a glass of coke. I told him to take a pitcher, it'll last longer."

"I am still paying... A little boy asked his father, ""Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"" Father replied, ""I don't know son, I'm still paying."""

"Inspired by Baby Jesus, I'm hoping to get nailed this weekend."

"Im sick of people calling America ""the stupidest country in the world"" Personally, I think Europe is."

"What do mormons and tweakers have in common? They both ride bikes and are on a mission."

"I hate it when you're sitting on the bus... ...and the local weirdo gets on and sits next to you. You know the type. The ones that watch you masturbate."

"What's the difference between Ireland and America? When we say waterboarding in Ireland it means surfing."