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Joke of the Day

"Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It's definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation."

"It must be very traumatic for my wife to be at work knowing I'm home alone getting bread crumbs on the kitchen counter. Let's pray for her."

"I plan on getting ""sidewalk nap"" drunk tonight."

"I secretly like days when none of my facebook friends have birthdays."

"The British Pound? You mean the British Ounce."

"Reasons why i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don't have iPhone. 2) I don't have a girlfriend."

"Seems like Harrison Ford is really down to earth Too early?"

"*makes plans with someone* (30 seconds later) what have I done"

"How many Syrians does it take to launch a missle? Two. One to launch it, and one to watch CNN to find out where it landed."

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx"