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Joke of the Day
"I like my coffee like I like my women... Chopped up and in the back of my freezer."
Next Joke
"There ain't enough tailgatin' in this country. Folks would like workin' and schoolin' more if they could tailgate in the parkin' lot first."
"Wearin' aviators tells the world you're a bad mamma jamma who ain't afraid to shin kick a terrorist or smoke a lawn flamingo if need be."
"Just witnessed the shortest ever dispute in court about a guy who supposedly stole a woman's bag. It was a briefcase."
"What do you call an illegal wristwatch trade? A wrist-ky buisness."
"It's gonna be a long day. I can wait to get home and curl up with a good Internet."
"Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant."
"I'm so hungry that I can eat a Centaur"
"More sad news in the music industry today... Kanye west was found alive in his house this morning..."
"They found Richard III's skeleton in a parking lot. Time stamp on the ticket stub indicates he owes $8,432,773."