74795

Joke of the Day

"what did the police do when they wanted to interrogate mark? question mark."

"How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier? The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!"

"70 yr old boss: i have the body of a fit 30 yr old. Me: where? Buried in your rose garden?"

"I had an imaginary girlfriend for a few years, but she ended up leaving me for my best friend. He had a bigger imagination than I did."

"Whenever I have sex, it's always a race to see who cums first.... Me or the police."

"I can't believe how different life was before *googles* Al Gore invented the Internet"

"Do you know why Moon rocks taste better than Earth rocks? Because they are a little meteor!"

"Tom Brady is a clever mastermind He learned from another great American hero named Tom and convinced Bill Belichick to whitewash his offenses."

"A vegan girl told me that, ""If you eat beef, you're basically a velociraptor."" In what world is that not totally awesome."

"If we got paid for how many tweets we put out, some of you would be millionaires in mansions. I'd be living in Government Assisted Housing."