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Joke of the Day

"If we got paid for how many tweets we put out, some of you would be millionaires in mansions. I'd be living in Government Assisted Housing."

"My penis is so long When i put it on my keyboard, it covers all the way from A to Z"

"I tried eating a whole llama once. I couldn't finish it, so I figured ""Eh, alpaca lunch for tomorrow."""

"The longest Joke in the world. I don't know if its ever been posted on here but here it is again if it has! http://longestjokeintheworld.com/"

"I just finished my first week of work at ThyssenKrupp. I'm already seeing great opportunities for upward mobility. All in all, it's been a very elevating experience."

"At 4am I'm pretty sure it's either too early or too late to start drinking. But if the vodka is in my cheerios, it's technically breakfast."

"congrats to those who made it onto my ""Not A Lizard"" spreadsheet in 2015. to the rest of u, better luck next year and/or die reptilian scum."

"My dad beat my brother when he showed him his report card. So, I gave my report card to my mother. Let her take the beating."

"I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with. I dyed my hair !"

"Why did all the Black people move to Detroit? Because they heard there were no jobs there."