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Joke of the Day

"Hillary and Trump are in a boat and it sinks. Who survives? I'd say Hillary. According to Bill, she never goes down."

"9 just turned the toaster all the way up and basically made charcoal for breakfast, so I'm ordering new furniture with his college fund."

"I hate people who have a great timing with jokes. When I do it I get responses like ""Who are you and why are you at my grandma's funeral?"""

"Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."

"If you own a small, anti-Kindle bookstore and it's not called Page Against the Machine, just give up."

"HIM: [awkwardly] wanna go see a movie? HER: sure, sounds great. [next day] HIM: could i maybe come with you next time?"

"What do you call a blad man with dandruff? A Snowglobe!"

"Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity? A: Her crayons are still sticky."

"have you heard about the couple who confused the tube of K-Y Jelly with window putty? It was horrible, all of the windows fell out of their new house"

"How do you make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles"