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Joke of the Day
"Condoms are really counterproductive."
Next Joke
"Based on the things my kid will and won't eat, my cooking is apparently worse than a stale Fruit Loop covered in dog hair."
"Dracula & Frankenstein are in the heavyweight championship. Who wins? Dracula. Frankenstein went down for the count."
"has anyone else realized the movimg photos in hary poter are just gifs. theyre jus gifs like from intermet"
"Imagine going to a theater in 1765 to see Mozart play symphony number 30 but as soon as he starts playing, the bass drops and people go nuts"
"You can tell which side of your pillow is the cool side because it's the one smoking a cigarette."
"Sometimes I like to spend my Sunday afternoon being screamed at by a 5 year old for eating the sandwiches I made for her imaginary friend."
"My girlfriend fell and got a bruise on her ass. It was nasty. and the bruise was ugly too."
"What's the difference between a hooker and your wife? You pay the hooker and she does what you want. And you pay your wife and she does what she wants."
"What genre can't Ed Sheeran sing ? Soul"