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Joke of the Day

"""What are you going to do with your time, now that you're retired?"" ""I'm going to finish my book."" ""I didn't know you were writing a book."" ""I'm not, I'm reading one."""

"Shadow dancers begin making a mock hanging motion to Katy Perry's singing"

"How many countries border Germany? Nein!"

"What is the difference between Snow White and Brazil? Snow White had the excuse of being asleep before letting seven in."

"I dreamt last night that I got Reddit gold. Instead I got downvoted to oblivion."

"What made the world stop being Blue? The new softcap limits"

"Most women love it when you play with their hair in public Their husbands not so much"

"Guys, always let the ladies finish first. It's just common coitusey."

"My wife gets a bit irritated when I talk about my second and third marriage because, you know, she's my first."

"What do you get when you cross a drunk woman with a tactical grenade? Flash-banged. ;)"