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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between Snow White and Brazil? Snow White had the excuse of being asleep before letting seven in."

"How is a chronic disease unlike the 9th Doctor, but like the 10th Doctor? It sticks around for more than 1 Season, and doesn't want to go."

"Son: Are you eating pie for breakfast? Me (eating pie): No. Fruit casserole. Want some? Son: NO. I hate casserole. Me (whispers): I know..."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar and a table. And some chairs."

"A man cuts a hunk of meat from his torso and cooks it in a pan. As he bleeds out, he realises: ""I've made a big me-steak"""

"I remember a friend asking me why I had a bottle of wine in my car, I said I got it for my wife... He said good trade..."

"Her lips were saying ""no""..... But her eyes were saying ""read my lips""...."

"Apparently 1 in 3 households live next door to a pedophile Not me though, I live next to two smoking hot 7 year olds."

"Best Fortune cookie ever: ""Person expecting sound advice from stale cookie probably make good dishwasher. Ask manager for application."""

"You should never bully fat people.... They have enough on their plates"