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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock ""Who's there?"" ""Cows go"" ""Cows go who?"" ""No, Silly. Cows go moo"""

"I remember when I discovered Santa Claus was just my dad I still don't know how he snuck out every year to deliver presents all over the world."

"Why can't you email jokes to a jedi? Because attachments are forbidden"

"Can't afford Sea World, so I took my kid to a fish market. Me: 'Shhh, they're asleep' 'Mom, they're breaded' Me: 'That's their blankie'"

"After Iran and Saudi Arabia cut ties Iranians stopped praying towards Mecca ... all their prayers are going to go to Spam anyway"

"Did you know half your penis is inside you? If that's true, I'm all the way up to three inches."

"Disguise a mini-recorder as a walkie-talkie and play this at high volume: ""DO YOU COPY? IT'S A BEAR WITH HUMAN HANDS! A BEAR WITH--[static]"""

"If you're dying, and have recently lost your car keys, take the opportunity, as your life flashes before your eyes, to try to spot them!"

"[Starbucks intercom] ""Will the man that ordered the Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte please pick up your drink. No one is looking."""

"People say I'm a stand up guy.. ....but I prefer to sit down when I can. Good morning everyone!"