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Joke of the Day

"Disguise a mini-recorder as a walkie-talkie and play this at high volume: ""DO YOU COPY? IT'S A BEAR WITH HUMAN HANDS! A BEAR WITH--[static]"""

"Apparently filling animals with helium is ""abuse"", pfft Whatever floats your goat, I guess."

"How many cancer patients does it take to change a light bulb? 1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was"

"What happened to the naughty little witch at school? She was ex-spelled."

"Did year about the phone war between the iPhone 6s and Samsung s6 I hear the S6 has an edge."

"[describing robbers to sketch artist] Make his ears more lethargic. That's better, now flare his nostrils like he's excited about a sale."

"Joke How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag? Answer: you take the S out of Safe and the F out of way."

"What do you call beef that's been burned? A mis-steak."

"What does a walrus and tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal"

"Went on a date with a single mom... It was going well until I told her I didn't care about her kid; I just wanted to play with the box it came in."