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Joke of the Day

"Apparently the most common surname In China is Chang. ...correct me if you think that's Wong."

"We're at the mall and noticed none of the kids can sit on Santa's lap. I'm not sure why, there's probably some Claus against it..."

"Why is the UK suddenly a happy place? Because now they too have a day to light fireworks on!"

"Let's play the Rihanna drinking game! We'll drink a shot of vodka every time she says 'work'. [2 minutes later] *house is on fire*"

"She said she needed her space and time.. Why didn't she ask for her velocity then?!"

"My mom told me that I objectify women. When she asked me why I broke up with my last girlfriend I said ""it didn't work out."" She said ""be more specific."" I said ""I just told you she didn't exercise."""

"The student and the teacher. JACK: ""Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"" TEACHER:"" Of course not. "" JACK: ""Good, because I haven't done my homework ...."""

"It's funny when you tell someone that you don't like people, they always think you mean other people."

"I was talking to my friend earlier. I thought, ""Why on earth are you called Earlier?"""

"What sits in the kitchen and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing its hair with an apple peeler"