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Joke of the Day

"I want my tombstone to read: Don't feel too bad, he really liked sleeping"

"Where do poor meatballs live? In the spaghetto."

"What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"An Irishman, a Scotsman, and an amnesiac stumble drunkenly into the road. The Irishman nearly escapes a speeding car, but the Scotsman isn't so lucky, and gets hit by the car and dies."

"I'm a big fan of wood. Mahogany. Cherry. Walnut. Morning."

"Whom does Ban Ki-Moon revolve around? Ban Ki-Earth."

"If your laugh in real life sounds like ""Bahahaha"", guaranteed I won't be funny around you."

"No thanks Cupid. If I wanted butterflies and my heart skipping beats, I would do something less ridiculous like lose my phone."

"What is a cows favorite shade of red! Mooroon!"

"if you get killed while you have to pee your ghost will have to pee but it can't"