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Joke of the Day
"I want my tombstone to read: Don't feel too bad, he really liked sleeping"
Next Joke
"I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym."
"What do you say to a robot with a good looking bum? Nice Assimo."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? To show these fu**in pedestrians how its done!"
"What do you call a person who thinks every day is Halloween? a transsexual"
"Why can't people with ocd go poop? Because they're anal retentive!"
"I like my sex the way I like my tweets. Forced and meaningless."
"I saw a lady texting and driving today I was furious. I rolled down my window, and threw my beer at her."
"Perms are just rad skateparks for lice."
"What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam!"