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Joke of the Day

"I saw a lady texting and driving today I was furious. I rolled down my window, and threw my beer at her."

"[NSFW] What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator? ....the refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!"

"Apple CEO announces he's gay. Samsung CEO announces he's more gay and water resistant."

"Why are aroused campers so extreme? I don't know, but they end up fucking in-tents (intense). Yes, it's a pun, but what else do you expect from me first thing in the morning."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house. (awkward silence) knock knock. (who's there?) The chicken. Feel free to try on your friends, its a good laugh."

"A little boy comes downstairs in the middle of the night and asks for a cup of water. Dad: OK, but that's the 730th one you've had tonight... Boy: I know, but my room's still on fire"

"Me: ""Sorry I'm late. Car trouble."" Him: ""What kind of car trouble?"" Me: ""It doesn't go 200 miles an hour to compensate for my late start."""

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.... not screaming in terror, like his passengers."

"What do you call a Punjabi fellow stuck in the middle of a shark-filled ocean? Amandeep trouble."

"Sorry I yelled ""chug it"" to your baby, as you were breastfeeding."