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Joke of the Day

"I sent my wife a card that said, ""I DON'T LIKE ANY OF THE BABIES YOU'VE MADE."""

"If I'm ever in a coma unplug me. Then plug me back in and see if that fixes the problem."

"I thought toddlers were the most energetic, obsessive, and relentless people on earth. And then someone got mad at me on Facebook."

"Two fish were in a tank. One says, you man the main cannon, I'll drive."

"You know why you can't play Uno with Mexicans? They steal all the green cards!"

"Whenever I Think Of Books I touch my shelf."

"Did you hear about the country adopting a ""Get to it Later"" policy? I guess you could say it's a procrasti-NATION"

"A mushroom... A mushroom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. The bartender walks over and says ""Hey, we don't serve your kind here!"" To which the mushroom replies ""Why not, I'm a fungi!"""

"69% According to studies, 69% of all people have dirty minds."

"Why did the engineer drive the backwards? He had a loco motive."