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Joke of the Day
"I don't always say 'oops', but when I do, it's usually ten minutes after I have a brilliant idea."
Next Joke
"I'VE GOT GOATLIKE SPEED & REFLEXES ""Don't you mean catlike-"" BAAAH [Climbs on top of roof and begins eating shingles]"
"Who's the greatest baller of all time? Pontius Pilate, he once crossed a guy up so bad he died"
"Trumps penis is so big... That on a (qwerty) keyboard it stretches all the way from A to Z"
"""This is BULLSHIT"" - enthusiastic manure salesman"
"Interesting how alzheimer's makes people forget their own name; yet they always seem to remember that they're racist."
"If batman and catwoman had a kid it would be batcat or the less popular manwoman."
"4 dead in office shooting Boss: ""looks like they're fired"" Secretary: ""No sir, they were fired at"""
"I used to think my neighbors were racist but that thoughtful burning cross they put in my yard proved to be a great source of natural light."
"Me as the astronaut in that Martian movie: ""Day 1 I have enough food to last 459 days"" ""Day 2 I now have enough food to last 170 days"""