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Joke of the Day

"If I had to describe myself in three words... It would be; Tall, dark and unable to follow basic instructions"

"Patient: Doctor what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points? Doctor: Sell!"

"Is that a noose necklace? That's knot cool."

"What is green and smells like red paint? Green paint. Haha"

"Listen lady, you have 2 options. Either make your baby stop eyeballing me, or she & I can go outside to settle this."

"The letter Q is an O smoking a cig and is therefore extremely cool"

"What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal ? That hit the spots !"

"What do you call a pun in a marathon? A running joke"

"Looking for a lost joke, Please help, The joke it making some one say twoo instead of two but i forget what two words you repeat to trick them. Please help."

"I don't use Miracle Whip, I use Coincidental Circumstances Easily Explained by Reason Whip."