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Joke of the Day

"An airplane killed a jogger while making an emergency landing on a South Carolina beach. Which is why I don't jog."

"What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a supermodel? Nothing if her husband knows what's good for him!"

"Why did Jon Snow go to the Apple Store? For the Watch."

"[Me]: What's a snowman's favorite drink? [Bartender]: idk [Me]: Brrrr-bon lol [Bartender]: ... [Me]: jk snowmen don't drink they aren't real"

"What did Silver say to Gold? ""Au!"""

"*takes call from mom* *puts mom on speaker* *cleans entire house*"

"Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didn't get wet! Why not? Because it wasn't raining!"

"My wife was preparing to bake bread... I asked what that was she was putting into the mix. She said, ""dill weed"". I said, ""Darling, you know I love your recipes, but I refuse to eat dill dough!""."

"I hope I don't catch another weirdo pooping against the side of a 7-11 tomorrow because I'm not ready to love again."

"Politically correct joke"