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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to welcome everyone with a car visor CD holder to the year 2011. We understand and accept your simple ways here in the future."

"When I see my cat watching out the window, fascinated, I sit beside her and say, 'Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom.'"

"Have you heard a dad joke about dad jokes? I've never meeted an person who had."

"I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high... She seemed surprised."

"What did the slug say to the police? ""I was as""salt""ed"""

"The Mistaken Hiker"

"Woman runs into a police station shouting, ""Help! I've been graped!"" Policeman responds with, ""Don't you mean RAPED?"" Woman replies, ""No - there was a whole bunch of 'em!"""

"If you want to set up a company and run it then that's your business."

"How do you stop a mexican tank? You shoot the guy pushing it."

"I never could bring a woman into my house. At first, because of the parents. Later, because of the wife."