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Joke of the Day

"So do people not like it when you tell them they could totally do better after meeting their spouse? Flattery is hard."

Next Joke
 
"Damn you Jehovah's, suckered me in to opening my door. Sure,I'll read your literature, while you read my twitter. We'll see who converts who"
"Why did Mrs. Grape leave Mr. Grape? She was tired of raisin kids."
"A man walks into a bakery... And looks at the prices of the bread. The bread is very cheap, and he tells the baker, ""Man, at that price this is a stale."""
"Tilda Swinton is what happens when a lamp from IKEA becomes self aware."
"You should never trust a person as far as you can throw them. Needless to say, I trust the fuck out of babies."
"My insurance does not cover Jesus taking the wheel. I checked."
"Two Charles Dickens bar drinks Charles Dickens Martini- olive or twist Charles Dickens Cider- usually a little tart"
"How did Watson and crick blow their chance with a hot girl? They said, ""baby you'd look good if you got a pair of skinny genes"""
"Anne Has A Problem Anne Has A Solution Anne Has A Will Anne Hathaway"
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